Reflections: Childbirth

Blake’s first birthday is next Tuesday, and I’ve spent a lot of time this last week in reflection of childbirth and mommyhood. To sum it all up: What an enormous sacrifice…but what an endless joy! I LOVE BEING A MOM! As my sweet baby becomes more and more a little boy, I get an itching to have another baby. What stops me? Pregnancy. AND labor. Oh—AND delivery! Some women simply love being pregnant and feel that giving birth is a magical experience! I am not one of those women. I enjoyed ONE thing about being pregnant: 1. Feeling the baby move = I was going to be a mommy! And I only enjoyed TWO things about giving birth: 1. I had a precious baby boy to love, and 2. I was no longer pregnant! YAY!!

When Blake was born (that post HERE), I never included some of the crappy details, so maybe I will now. Just consider this my honest and straightforward account. First off, I had always planned on getting an epidural. (And always will!) I had talked to friends and family about their experiences, so I walked into Labor & Delivery with the misconception that an epidural meant there would for-sure be zero pain. WRONG-O. Hahaha! I laugh at my own naivety!

We checked into the hospital at 6:30pm Easter Sunday for an induction and hung out for awhile, watched movies, and ate. When it got late, I sent Eric home to get one last good night's sleep :). At midnight a suppository was inserted to soften and thin things. Labor started immediately, and they gave some medicine through my IV so I could "get some rest." I have no idea what they gave me, but I had a crazy, psycho-dreams, long, restless night. I would wake up, and still not be sure if I was awake or dreaming.

I didn't feel too rested by the time the Dr. Carlson came in at 6:30am. I was at a 4, he broke my water, and there was meconium in the amnotic fluid (Blake pooped in utero). P.s. for anyone in labor that is getting an epidural, if at all possible, get it before your water breaks. FOR REAL! The contractions that follow are mega-OUCHY!!! Dr. Carlson told me it would take the anesthesiologist 45 minutes to get to the hospital when I was ready for an epidural. I had only 2 agonizing contractions before telling the doc, "I think that anesthesologist had better get over here!!"

The next hour was super duper fun trying to breathe through the contractions and squeezing Eric's hand. Finally the mustache-sportin' anesthesiologist arrived! I never thought I’d be so thankful to get a needle shoved down my spine :) I asked Eric to take one last picture of me pregnant, and this is what he got:
I promise I was smiling! After I got the epidural I slept, and things were smooth sailing until I was almost a 9. Then it got REAL painful in a hurry. All of a sudden, I had complete feeling on my right side. I would lie on that side to get the drugs to distribute evenly. Unfortunately, Blake’s heart rate would drop so the nurses would run in and put me on my back again. I was just out of luck. My body aches just remembering that day!! Awhile later, Blake’s fatty head was trying to fit through my pelvis, and the cracking and popping of my bones sounded terrible! I didn’t feel too good either. Don’t worry, bones weren’t actually breaking! Actually, I have no idea what my bones were doing besides making room for an 8.7 pound baby.

Through everything I never actually cried, but I did get to the point where I was thinking, "It will be 10 years before I have another baby...if ever!!!" and "I'm done. I can't do this anymore!" (as I had a choice there! hah) The anesthesiologist pumped in the last of the meds, and that helped for a little bit. I guess. We even turned on opening day MLB for a distraction. Suprisingly though, being able to push against the pain was the best relief! Those 50 minutes of pushing went by pretty fast. There was a whole audience of NICU nurses there for the delivery incase Blake aspirated the meconium, but thankfully he didn't.

At 2:17pm on April 5, 2010, after 14 hours of labor, 2 episiotomies, and during Marlon Byrd's three-run homer, Blake Eric Sorensen was born! He just whimpered like a little bird and snuggled up to me :) He was perfect! I was in love. I wish the pain ended after he was out, but passing lemon-sized clots, cramps, lots of stitches, and bleeding and bleeding and bleeding……AND ENGORGMENT!!! Who on earth said breastfeeding was natural and easy?!? Good grief. Thaaaat’s another story. We were very lucky there were no complications, things went smoothly, Eric was a champ, I DID have half an epidural, Blake was healthy, and we all got to come home the next day. Still, it was what it was. It sucked. Don’t get me wrong, I am so thankful to actually bear my own children, and I love Blake and our future angel babies enough to do it a few more times. BUT will I be popping out 10 kids? No way. Will I be blabbing about how tough I am and birth was a breeze? Nope. Do I absolutely dread the next time I am in Labor & Delivery? You bet!It blows my mind that women have been giving drug-free birth for thousands of years! I respect all these women, and especially Eric and my mothers and grandmothers. A HUGE THANK YOU for not only dealing with the physical pain of giving us life, but for the emotional pain, heartache, and sacrifice. I hope we provide you enough joy in return (including grandbabies!) to make it worth it :) Our Blake sure is worth it, and don’t ever forget it, kid!